What I Knew Then…
“If only I knew then what I know now!” The ubiquitous saying. You have said it, you have heard it and you have though it, probably a lot. I have. But, you don’t, not if you think about it. You would waste your youth being cynical, suspicious and demeaning.
You must admit it’s hard to finally find out the so-called “truth”. Remember the older kids on the playground? They told you and your buddies stuff that was out there in your left field. No way that’s true. My parents do what? It sucks but then you learn, sadly you learn.
Don’t take this the wrong way. Getting older and wiser comes with a lot of benefits. It’s just that the afternoons of youth are warm memories. I think that a lot of our biased thinking is learned. How can you be born hating shit? Matter of fact, you can unlearn a lot of that black cloud stuff right now.
First thing, you gotta breathe, deep. Then, do it again. I know, it’s hard. And, watch out for that talk in the head. Thinking about breathing is just asking for it. That little guy with the black beret hat and the big megaphone. That’s the director of that movie in your head which plays constantly, particularly the sound track. The talk in the head that tells you a bunch of shit that not only is not true but always makes you an even bigger asshole than you can believe. When you wake up guilty, it’s normally a hangover. But, when you get older and wiser, hangovers from booze get less frequent. So, then all the that bad energy is therefore asshole hangover. Happens all the time.
Ok, now that you know about the director, you can change the story. You can fire that director and hire a new one. You cannot rewrite the past but you can change the plot on this scene right now. That’s the secret. You can start right now. You can do more with less and you can begin to fulfill your deepest yearnings. You know what lies in your heart and in your soul. I bet it’s not your soul that covets the fancy stuff that you always thought would complete you.
The secret might be that you complete you. The past is a mighty big place, almost limitless. But, the here and now; the moment in front of you leads to the infinite. While the backyard might be a huge space, the canvas right at the end of your nose is blank, white, pristine. At the end of your arm are the paints and the brush. Pick up a brush and start. Forget about the backyard and paint your ass off. Make the story from here on out what you want it to be, make it your vision.
Good stuff. I remember the hot summer baseball days. Wooden bats that we taped up when they cracked, rubber coated baseballs and hitting one in the creek on the right side of the field was an automatic out. We never seemed to have enough players to handle all the gaps but that never really mattered. Robert taught himself to hit left handed so he could slap a Rod Carew liner down the third base line. Always a double unless he decided to try for third. It was great when the city would repair the water fountain. No Gatorade for us!
This reminds me of us playing football in the park, back in the day.
The game lasted until we were called to dinner. We created our own rules
to some degree. We chose sides and tried to level the playing field.
The game was only really fun if everyone got muddy, bloody and someone
went home crying, battered and bruised. The next day we would do it all
again and live to tell about it. If it snowed all the better! If it got too cold,
we would stop the game and go make a fire and recover best we could.
I really feel that this was a great foundation for us growing up. I really
miss those good times and will always cherish our memories.
Love the 5th sentence…..love all of it. Far as that cold thing, our first, youthful and innocent go to was “fire”….at some point, I believe it was alleged, we got into some fire water. I believe in the Book of Proverbs (23), it speaks to battered and bruised. The author there, Solomon I believe, calls that “wounds without cause”….Now, it could have been David, I don’t remember. From a practical standpoint, don’t matter. Yes, the firewater will run you crazy, bruised, bleeding and screaming. After that, as a special bonus, you get to feel like dog and wonder why…but, back to Proverbs, the author continues, “I shall seek it yet again:….Sad, certainly. True, for many, yes…If you can run combustion engines with it, shouldn’t put your lips on it….
I think I finally figured out that Jack Daniels and Jimmy Beam are undefeated. They will stay undefeated. Remember the wire walker across the street?
Funny, yes; pitiful, yes….Live and learn.
I agree with you on the park. We learned many things, some of them had actual value…:) Seriously, a neighborhood park like that is invaluable. I was lucky to be a feral child. You know, live free or die? That’s New Hampshire’ state “line”, motto I guess. Say what you want, bruised, battered and bleeding is better. If we could just add the palmetto thing in there somehow. I remember Brookside, Stone Creek and all of that with fondness. I think of it often.
We need to get you set up to be the Palmetto correspondent. Then, you can just make up shit however you want. Just like the acronym media outlets; ABC, NBC, Lie2Me.,,you know, all that. You seem to have both an interest and a talent for it. Let me know brother.
Og course, in the new, new, new world (head down on phone, bathroom confusion and Bruce Jenner’s a girl) there is always the quid pro quo…Just get your baby brother John to overcharge me for some high end used raquets..oh, and a bag. Gotta have a bag…Remember when I took the city buses to the Greenville CC for lessons? At the time, I knew I was not rolling up like Muff and Biff, but I had a bag….
Thanks for your interest and comments Robert. We have known each other about 47 years, maybe 48..who’s counting? I am about to go out and attempt a 100K bike ride. So, while I am doing that, why don’t you hit 140 MPH serves at little kids there around North Main….As my grandfather who say, “they need some seasoning”….Dammit!
I love this. Wise words.
Oh my..Betsy! See? I am so, like, on time. I appreciate your making a comment. You rock!
You will interested to know that I am about to begin this personal coaching deal with a former UCI World Tour rider. Now, let’s be utterly and brutally honest, I will suck. Not the point, don’t think. I will do it..point, I think.
xo and Godspeed. Best to your folks!
This blog is a great source of inspiration and his tips could change your life!